i'm learning such amazing things!

as i continue to ready my book about job i learn such amazing things. today God truly revealed some things to me. in life as christians we can't sit back and think that God is only going to bless us. with those blessings come trials and tribulations and i think because God has blessed Nathan and I so much it makes it a little easier to lean on him and deal with what we are going through now. i cannot once look back on my life and say God has not blessed me. three things that come to mind right away are nathan, noah & the twins. there is even so much more. we have struggled through such hard times but if we relyed on God he always always ALWAYS saw us through. another thing he showed me today was how satan attacked Job. the first time he did what seemed the worst, took his family, his fortune, and all possesions that he had. Job did not deny God. satan was so angry that again he tried to attack Job. Job had sores all over his body and was in agonizing pain; his own wife was cursing God but he stood up against all this and still did not deny the Lord. can you imagine how angry satan must have been. i mean we all know he is a sore loser but seriously it makes me laugh hysterically that right now satan is so angry that i am finding joy in the midst of turmoil. that i have not denied who i am and how i can lean on God. i have been a christian for a long time but this is the first time in my life that i will openly talk to people i don't know about God and i truly don't care if they think i'm weird, or if they aren't a believer, i just simply do not care. i just got done talking to mom and i said by the time i get outta this joint i'm gonna be so ready to explode that i may start speaking in tongues in church. anyone who knows me would think yea right. the thought of that before always took me out of my comfort zone but now i just do not care if people think i'm crazy. today has been such a good day. each day gets better. i am so thankful that God created me to be a strong & determined person. he knew before i was born that i would go through this some day. my days are numbered just as ethan's were. ethan's life served a purpose that i don't even understand yet. i know that each one of my son's are going to change someone's life in a miraculous way. i truly believe God made them to be amazing little boys. their names alone have such powerful meanings and they will always have big shoes to live up to and fill, but i know that they will. i don't want to grow them up to soon but i look so forward to the future and what God has in store for them. it is late and i am worn out today had a good visit with noah and mom & shannon and kate. until the next time.......