lets try this again

ok we are going to try this again this morning. yesterday was a very good day. i a growth ultrasound and Elijah now weighs 3lbs 14oz. he is weighing what a 32 week baby should!! i am 30 weeks 1 day today. i am hoping to be here until 34 weeks which could make him be close to 5 1/2 lbs! i could most likely bring him home. through all of this that would be such a miracle. my dr this morning said that despite everything that has happened to the twins and with losing Ethan, and i quote " this little guy is doing excellent" how reassuring is that. i know that Elijah is my little miracle baby. he is going to bring so much joy into our home and i am just looking forward to the little boy that he is going to be. noah on the other hand we'll see how they handle each other! ha ha let me go on about the book of Job that i'm reading. in the last chapter i read i learned that God gives satan permission to attack us on so many levels and this doesn't make him a mean God but it is God's way of proving to satan that through whatever trial we will not fall or deny him. God is smiling right now because not only is he holding my son in his arms and calling him perfect, but his faith in me has been reaffirmed that i did not turn from him during this trial. while i was sitting here reading the other day God laid something on my heart. that one day soon i will start a ministry. he wouldn't give me details but it has me so puzzled as to what it is. i think of my talents with music and talking to people, obviously gifts from God but something deep inside is telling me that it won't be those gifts that i use for my ministry. i have this excitement growing inside of me because i am so anxious to know what his plan is, but i am trying to sit quietly and allow him to show me. now we all know i don't have patience but through this pregnancy and its ups and downs i am growing a little. i see myself changing in so many ways and its incredible. i am drawing near to what God has called me to be and who he has called me to be. i am so excited! i think that's all i have for today so until the next time.......